Day 187- Man hands

Dear Mr. President,

In high school, they called me man hands. It sounds cruel, but it was sort of an endearment. I do have big hands. The people who love me best still call me this, occasionally, and I love them for it. But it started earlier than that. It started when I was 4 years old and saw The Neverending Story. I promptly convinced my mother to cut off my long golden curls so that I could look like Atreyu. When my older sister told me Atreyu was a boy, I was pretty skeptical; I identified with the character enough to believe that he must be female, like me. After that, it was being the only girl on the soccer field at recess, or picked first for kickball because, as a 5th grader, my 5'+ frame and size 9 shoes made me awkward and strange, but damn good at kicking a ball. These days, I work in a physical, occasionally dangerous and adrenaline-filled job. While my supervisor is female, she acknowledged to me that I'm the first woman to apply in a long time. So, I suppose, she and I work what some would call a man's job. I don't want to be a mother and I don't want to be some one's wife, but I like romantic movies and make-up and Jane Austen novels as much as the next girl. What does this make me?

Abnormally masculine, according to Pediatric endocrinologist Maria New, of Mount Sinai School of Medicine and Florida International University. That my aspirations for a life outside of motherhood, marriage and so-called feminine traditions are traits some (ironically, female) doctors would attempt to prevent in utero is kind of horrifying. Considering my upbringing, watching my parents come home from the same work, with the same weapons and tools, knowing that my mother worked just as hard as my father, had more education, made more money than him, outranked him and still had to come home and be responsible for the domestic chores while he relaxed in front of the TV, maybe my abnormality isn't genetic so much as experience? Of course, my father and stepmother tried hard to break me out of my tomboyish tendencies, forbidding certain masculine clothing, encouraging and even emphasizing the importance of cosmetic beauty. But I never outgrew it. I'm not dainty or delicate. I don't aspire to be. I can't change this, any more than I could change the size of my hands. Even my handwriting (as the unfortunate readers of your mail must surely be aware) is undeniably masculine.

If my parents had been given the choice, if they had been offered a pill to take with prenatal vitamins that ensured them a "normal" daughter, would they have taken it? How does a parent justify making decisions about a person's disposition, their preferences and temperament, the things that make up their personality, all without their consent? I think that science is pretty awesome, that genetics and the prenatal prevention of disease are important and fascinating fields. But reading about this research and the reasoning used to justify it, I can't help but wonder who gets to decide what is a problem, an abnormality that needs correction or prevention, and where the checks on that kind of power could possibly come from. What's feminine today is different than 24 years ago, and by the time children receiving this treatment reach their own adulthood, I'm sure it will be even more so. That 4 year old girl who looked back at me from the mirror as our mother cut our hair and turned us into a warrior, she could have grown up to be anything, a mother, a Supreme Court nominee, even a pediatric endocrinologist. So far, all she's become is a loss prevent agent and blogger, a chronically opinionated and ambitious young adult with giant hands. But I'd hate to think that, even before she was born, there could have been a medically sanctioned definition of what the correct choice would be.

Girls of all ages have a role model in Elena Kagan, so thank you for nominating her to the bench. I believe that her life's work is no less valuable than any children she might have born, instead. I am grateful for her and for all of the other abnormal women who have come before me. They have made the world safer for women like me, and improved it for all of us- even Dr. New. I'm not promising that I'll cut my hair to look more like her, but, if she gets a luckdragon name Falkor, it may be cause to reconsider.

Respectfully yours,

Kelsey

Day 105- Mars or bust!

Little more than 40 years ago, astronauts descended the nine-rung ladder of the lunar module called Eagle, and allowed their feet to touch the dusty surface of the Earth’s only Moon. This was the culmination of a daring and perilous gambit -- of an endeavor that pushed the boundaries of our knowledge, of our technological prowess, of our very capacity as human beings to solve problems. It wasn’t just the greatest achievement in NASA’s history -- it was one of the greatest achievements in human history.

And the question for us now is whether that was the beginning of something or the end of something. I choose to believe it was only the beginning.

-President Obama, 4/15/2010

Dear Mr. President,

Your speech today about America's future in space was thrilling. I was happy, first of all, to learn of your ambitious and thoughtful plan, and also to see you combating the recent claims by some on the right that your decision to end the Constellation program would curtail America's leadership in space exploration. I know that NASA is a nonpartisan organization and that your support for missions to Mars have less to do with what's best for the Democratic party than with what's best for the American people, and I respect you for that. That this was also an opportunity to combat disingenuous statements made by your political opponents is really just an added bonus for those of us keeping score at home.

I've been smiling uncontrollably since I watched the speech on youtube. I'll never be an astronaut, and I think my chance at being a NASA scientist was lost when I chose to pursue a degree in Middle Eastern Studies, but the 5th grade girl that asked for a telescope for Christmas is so very happy that I might live to see humans set foot on another planet. With little more than words, you've inspired us to believe in what we can do together. To imagine witnessing the kind of history made from triumph and not tragedy.

But this speech wasn't the only thing you did today that dared me, and the rest of America to dream of an even brighter future. Today you issued a memorandum aimed at allowing visitation rights for same-sex partners in hospitals. This was an incredibly sensible and compassionate thing to do. I'd like to think that, if I can imagine my young nephew growing up to walk on Mars, I can also imagine him growing up to enjoy the same rights and privileges as any American, no matter who he loves. Our progress in technology and innovation must be matched by social progress; as we become smarter and more capable, we must also become more just. I doubt very much that the two acts were linked in your mind, but I hope you know they were linked in mine. Both were very small steps toward a distant future, one that will require the best of all of us to achieve. I will go to bed tonight dreaming of the days ahead, a red light blinking softly in the night sky and a society that does not discriminate against its citizens for the people that they love.

Respectfully yours,

Kelsey

Day 32-

Dear Mr. President,

The news of your cuts to NASA's moon program has me oddly sad. I agree with the decision, the program sounded as though it had serious flaws and your budget increases NASA funding as a whole. Still, the child in me who always wanted to see outer space is a little sad that a moon colony won't be happening any time in the near future.

I'm thinking back to middle school, debating with a friend over the morality of funding space exploration, at all. She asserted that, so long as there were earthly needs to be tended to- hunger, literacy, health care, medical research- spending billions to travel through space was near-criminal. I may have conceded the logic of this argument, but my sentimental side would insist that people need inspiration, as well. That we learn about our world through direct observation, and always need a new frontier to explore.

Has my thinking matured much since then? It's difficult to say. But in this day and age, when the number of unemployed, the number of uninsured, the number of uneducated are overwhelming, it is difficult to argue for the perpetuation of a project with few quantifiable benefits. I hope that, if the economy improves, we'll find money again to return to the moon. I don't know if a society's strength indicates the quality of its artistic and scientific achievement, or if it is the opposite, or some of both, but it would be a shame to win the space race only to spend the future observing the heavens from afar.

Respectfully yours,

Kelsey