Saturday, June 5, 2010

Day 156- No one died.

Dear Mr. President,

No one died. That's how I answered my friend when she asked what happened to the Rachel Corrie. Certainly not for the first time in my life, I've had to readjust my threshold for acceptable behavior. I felt this frustration often when I worked as Loss Prevention, and often found myself thinking "Well, this person is drunk and disruptive, but at least they aren't smoking crack in the magazine section." (Yes, that actually happened.) It isn't that I think it's acceptable for Israel to prevent cement and building material from reaching the people of Gaza, for them to board ships and forcibly redirect them; but no one died, so I guess that's acceptable behavior, now. Or, they might have shot a girl's eye out during a protest, but at least they didn't crush her with a bulldozer. Is the behavior actually getting better or am I just become numb to the smaller injustices because of all the larger ones?

I'm tired and frustrated and finished adjusting my tolerance for injustice by this nation that we protect like it's our younger sibling. I caught sight of my reflection today, the silver necklace I wear, which is an outline of Palestine, suddenly looked delicate and fragile, a leaf that might be carried away or crushed at any moment. Isn't that how Israel impresses it's vulnerability upon visitors? Helicopter tours designed to show off how endangered it still is? This recent act of violence will not tempt me to the same folly that Israel has fallen to. I don't call for violence, for the inversion of the oppressed into the oppressors, for the fear I feel to become a weapon of some one else's destruction. I just want it to end. I just want the world to wake up and see the injustice we have perpetuated without any one else having to die to prove it. I know it isn't that simple and it isn't that easy and if there were some obvious solution we'd all leap at it. I am just so heavy with grief, these days.

So I'm not going to ramble any more, when words have long ceased to be enough. I'm going to sleep for a few hours and hope things look better tomorrow.

Respectfully yours,


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